vessel

by koleżanka

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1.
02:14
2.
04:08
3.
4.
05:19
5.
6.
7.

credits

released July 13, 2017

All music written by Kristina Moore. All music performed by koleżanka.
Featuring:
Josh Hill - violin - track 7
Greg Lloyd - trumpet - tracks 3, 4, 5, and 6
Tracked, mixed, mastered and produced by Eamon Ford at Audile Collective.
Album art designed by Ark and Winter Calkins, photograph by Winter Calkins and Kristina Moore.

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koleżanka Phoenix, Arizona

koleżanka is Kristina Moore with Winter Calkins and Ark Calkins

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Track Name: space issues
Its been a long time since you’ve come down
Its been a long time since you’ve come down
How does it feel to realize you’re so sentimental
you’re not instrumental to a bigger picture
You’re just a fixture
Just a cog in the wheel

Its been a long time since I’ve not been sorry
Its been a long time since I’ve understood honesty
How does it feel to hope your loved ones won’t become strangers
You’re threads aren’t so tight and you’re
Swimming in anger
Are we always in danger?
Are we always in danger?
Track Name: bury me
Bury me in your ostensible sins
Like my foot’s on the gas but I don’t know who’s stearing
I walk through the crowd like a child on the street
Searching for someone’s hand but no hands are reaching out for me

Bury me in bodies of other women
Values to compare but who wrote the equation?
I’ll never forget what you said on the overpass
How can we stand to have all this inside of our heads

Always so much to say
Watch them talk with their hands
How do you move
When you just
Listen
Track Name: snocone summer
Memories deep
everytime I try to sleep I am back there
In the bleachers
A snocone summer
My mouth is full of dirt
And you’re rounding second base and everyones anticipating

Mouths moving slow and its getting harder to be present
Everyone knows when you’re faking it
But you’ll still fake it nonetheless

Took a wrong turn
Now I’m sinking down behind the dumpsters
Whats the point of speaking when you’re not heard
Its been ten years
And you still don’t understand why I haven’t answered

I waited too long to come to terms with anything
I waited too long now the scores are in and I am losing
Track Name: pageant
When we met we were three years younger
Charming child-heart mistreated by your father
You believed in anything they placed before you
I lost track of all the faces that they gave you
Ribbons and spins and the room is full
Pieces of you and now I am whole
Smiles and skin and everyone falls
Pieces of you and now I am beautiful

When we met we were full of wonder
Dreaming roles into the lives of others
You believed you could be anything you wanted
But
What we wanted was so quickly co-opted by the
Ribbons and spins and the room is full
Pieces of you and now I am whole
Smiles and skin and everyone falls
Pieces of you and now I am beautiful

I always wanted a sister

“I’m fine”
Anytime they ask you but don’t be too shy
If you’re soft you’re asking for it
“I’m fine”
Couldn’t tell you what is even on my mind
Is this even my own body?
“I’m fine”
Anytime they ask you but don’t be too shy
If your soft you’re asking for it
“I’m fine”
Anytime they ask you you know you’ll lie
Its. Easier to just pretend that I’m fine
Its easier to just pretend that I’m fine
Its easier to just pretend that
Track Name: posture: a performance
Conference time
Queue my lines
Just tell me how many words I’m allotted for statements
Cause I know that we’re always running on your time
Try to stay calm
When my minds been teetering against the edge
And I’m losing my balance between all the lines that you’ve drawn

Forget
my pretense
I am agency running wild on the stage of this fluff performance
And I’m all rage
Oh, behave

She is so poised they say
They say so many things after she walked away
They say so many things
Practice grace for the inverted self in the mirror
What muscles are used to be forceful with words
To be wise in demeanor

I lose my breath
Everytime
I remember
The walls
And your eyes
And your fists
An the way that

Substance
Is forgotten
I am resilience hanging from rungs of a ladder
That only seem to go high
High
High
Track Name: exegesis of an exquisite corpse
Ghosts are knocking at the door
Lets let them in and get acquainted
So rudimentary this becomes
When we deny what makes us sacred
Oh how I ache to share a bed
With you and not be caught between
The little things I love and
All our other secret occupancies

Im so far
Into unraveling
And its such a shame
To cut down the frayed ends
Will I be the same?
Where do I begin?

Ghosts are charging from the door
in mutiny to take the helm
When I just want the absent rhythm
Of my feet on cobblestone
And oh, the ache of presence is unbearable in games we play
To build up this exquisite corpse dilutes me with each passing day

I’m so far
Into this traveling
And its such a shame
How we both transgress
Occupants of mine
While I occupy this
Track Name: las palmas vacation
Driving
Late afternoon
I thought I saw you
You, in the rearview
Strolling
Down to Las Palmas
With my own reflection
With your arms around us

I want you to take off my clothes with your teeth
Maybe I’m just too easy
And you’re just a dreamer losing sleep

Unyielding year long hotel suite
I woke too late to see you leave
I shut the door, return the key